In today’s digital age, our sons are constantly exposed to male influencers, or “influencers,” many of whom promote harmful messages about power, wealth, and misogyny. Recently, I overheard my 17-year-old son watching a video about Andrew Tate, a controversial figure currently facing serious allegations. This moment was a wake-up call—it showed me how much my sons knew about these influencers and the toxicity they spread online.
The manosphere, where influencers like Tate thrive, is a virtual world filled with content that often celebrates male supremacy, cruelty, and misogyny. Young boys are drawn to these figures because they promise connection and a path to power. But what starts as an interest in flashy cars and a lavish lifestyle can quickly lead to internalized misogyny and distorted views about relationships.
Why Boys Are Drawn to Manfluencers
On the surface, boys may be attracted to influencers showing off their wealth, luxury, and women. However, according to experts like Dr. Niobe Way, the deeper draw is the promise of connection and belonging. Influencers tell boys that they can rise to the top of a hierarchy, giving them a sense of worth they feel they lack.
Unfortunately, this sense of belonging is false. Boys who buy into these toxic narratives often feel lonelier, as their connections are based on shallow ideals and dominance rather than meaningful relationships.
How Parents Can Intervene
It’s more important than ever for parents to talk to their sons about these influences and model healthy behaviours. Dr. Grey Endres emphasizes that showing respect, empathy, and compassion in family interactions is the first step. This should go beyond respect for women—it’s about treating all people with kindness.
While the temptation is to deliver a quick lecture, experts advise making these conversations part of ongoing discussions. Instead of long speeches, engage your sons with connecting questions that encourage empathy. Ask them how they’d feel if they or someone they love were mistreated, and help them build accountability to others and themselves.
Creating Accountability and Connection
We can’t monitor everything our kids do online, but we can build a foundation of open communication. Regular check-ins, where you listen with curiosity and without judgment, help you understand your child’s perspective. Share things you’ve come across on the internet, and ask your sons for their thoughts. These small conversations, over time, help create an environment where boys feel heard and supported.
Ultimately, by giving our sons a place to express their emotions and showing them the value of connection and empathy, we can steer them away from toxic influences. We can help them understand that true worth is not found in dominance but in meaningful relationships and emotional resilience.
